My eyes were opened to the remarkable impact that man had on my daughter’s life. I began to understand the depth of this stepfather’s love …
Stepdads: Be a Friend & Assistant
You married your spouse, not her kids. Your job is to help her, not take over her role or responsibilities with her children.
Ways to Stay Positive Through Discouragement
If you’re like many men, you love being a dad. It speaks to something deep within you. But sometimes it gets hard, and you get discouraged. Nothing seems to work with your kids, and the payoffs are few and far between.
Get Out of Your Comfort Zone and Connect with Your Kids
That word “engage” has transformed who I am as a father. I keep fighting off selfishness and the desire to go back to the Comfort Zone.
9 Ways for a Stepdad to Engage With His Family
by Ron L. Deal “How tall is it?” I ignorantly asked a Kenyan missionary. “Mount Kilimanjaro is over 19,000 feet tall,” he smiled. “It’s big!” No kidding, I thought. I could see the outline of the tallest mountain in Africa from my third-floor Nairobi apartment 130...
4 Ways Dads Can Help Hurting Kids
Sometimes life leaves emotional scars on children. How can we dads help them most effectively? A stepdad named Eric wrote to us about this. He said that the greatest difficulty he has faced with his children has been dealing with the hurt they brought with them from...
What We All Can Learn from Stepdads
Do teen stepchildren behave worse, or are stepdads more critical and less encouraging of their stepchildren? Here are three suggestions …
The Effective Stepfather: A Checklist to Live By
by Ron Deal – Stepfathering can be challenging — and perhaps that’s why many stepfathers disconnect from their stepchildren. But stepfathers can have profound and important leadership roles.
Someone Who Loves You
Children in eleven U.S. cities are giving moving tributes to their fathers as they read their prize-winning essays during Father of the Year celebration events. Each essay has a story behind it, and Haley Hubbard, a 12th grader from Tulsa, brought the entire audience to tears as she stood with her stepfather and read this essay:
Stepfathering Adolescents: It Takes Patience, Flexibility and Humor
Pre-teen and teenage kids can pose a tremendous challenge for stepfathers. As they develop their identity and self-esteem, they are very sensitive to dramatic changes in their family structure and living situations.
How to Cook a Stepfamily
Whether you realize it or not, your stepfamily has likely assumed a specific integration style. By that, I mean a set of assumptions about how your stepfamily 'ought' to come together. I like to use cooking as an analogy to identify some integration styles that stepfamilies attempt to utilize. Let’s start with the ones that generally don't work.
Stepdads: Don’t Compete With the Child’s Father
Orville is about to become a stepfather, and he wrote to me with a question: the 8-year-old son of his fiancée minds his father very well, but wreaks havoc at home. "What should I do?" Orville writes.
Categories
Welcome to the fathers.com fathering library.
On the left you will see how our blogs and articles are categorized. Choose your stage in the fathering journey under Your Kids, click on a specific situation that applies to you, or browse through the items in our hot topics and fathering fundamentals. Also, check out Tools for the Journey – short downloadable pieces with tips for specific challenges.
Single Dads: Worth Honoring on Father’s Day
by Matt Haviland Did you know that the origins of Father's Day have a connection to single fathers? Sonora Smart Dodd is largely credited with creating Father’s Day. Her father, William Jackson Smart, raised Sonora and her siblings by himself after her mother died in...
The Power of Being a Happy Dad
by Douglas Peake Here’s an early Happy Father’s Day to all the great dads out there! Even more than celebrating what you do, I want to recognize you for who you are. And according to one researcher, one of the most important ways to be a better dad is to cultivate...
25 Ways to Speak Life to Your Daughter
by Michelle Watson Canfield, PhD, LPC Dads, if my previous blog a few weeks ago felt a bit brutal or negative, this one will be more uplifting ... if you will take it to heart and follow through. Using a similar approach as last time—getting straight to the point and...
Home & Away Dads: Work Travel and Staying Connected with Family
Traveling for work continues to be a challenge for many dads in today’s world, and it probably will be indefinitely. Many of our work routines changed drastically during the pandemic, and we learned that working remotely and meeting by video are actually viable...
10 Meaningful Ways to Honor Her This Mother’s Day
by Ryan Debok Quick Summary: Whatever your relationship status with your children’s mother, here are 10 intentional ways to express appreciation to her on or around Mother's Day: Write a Letter – Honest, personal words that name her value. Let Her Sleep In –...
It’s Not About You: Becoming a Dad Changes Everything
There’s a truth all fathers know. Maybe dads-to-be are getting a sense of it, but new dads are bumping up against it every day. Veteran dads definitely know it, but maybe it’s been so long for them that they’ve forgotten. What is it? Fatherhood changes everything....
Dad Words That Wound: What NOT to Say to Your Daughter
by Michelle Watson Canfield, PhD, LPC During the past 15-plus years of working with fathers and daughters, I’ve grown to understand and appreciate where you dads are coming from. What I continue to hear from men is one of two responses: Tell it to me straight with as...
Father, Forgive Them: An Easter Lesson for Every Dad
What do Holy Week and Easter mean to you? Of course, Christian dads will find many life-changing lessons and truths connected with the crucifixion and resurrection of Christ. Whether or not you go along with the religious significance of those events, all...
Winning Battles or Hearts? Influencing Your Children’s Character
Dad, do you find yourself “laying down the law” more than you’d like to? Maybe there’s a better approach. Jerry is a partial-custody father who’s going through some big challenges with his 12-year-old daughter, who stole some hair color from a relative and colored her...
Aware Fathering: A Challenge to Reflect and Start a New Habit
Dad, this is a somewhat random day of the year. It isn’t Father’s Day, New Year’s Day or the first day of school for your kids—times when we at fathers.com typically urge guys to recommit to their fathering role. Maybe we could say springtime is when the sun is out...
Chores to Careers: Cultivating a Strong Work Ethic in Your Kids
Dad, here’s one important thought that can help guide your fathering efforts: You’re raising a future adult. It might be difficult to imagine right now, but one day your child will be “adulting” in significant ways. Will she be responsible and kind? Will he follow...
“The Worst Dad Ever”: Patience & Poise for Fathers
Sometimes our children can bring real challenges to us as fathers. Sometimes they say crazy things, but with passion and conviction. Maybe they make decisions based purely on emotion, with no real thought about long-term consequences. As dads, these are real tests of...