What do Holy Week and Easter mean to you?

Of course, Christian dads will find many life-changing lessons and truths connected with the crucifixion and resurrection of Christ. Whether or not you go along with the religious significance of those events, all dads can find profound meaning in one of the last statements Jesus made before His death—simply as an insight for relating to your children.

It’s found in the Gospel of Luke, chapter 23, when Roman soldiers and others are mocking him, spitting on him, and figuring out who gets his clothes. Jesus says,

“Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do” (v. 34).

The Holy Week sermon might marvel at this man who is suffering great physical agony, who still has some mercy for those who are torturing and killing him. His prayer is, “Father, they’re dealing with limited information; they don’t really get what’s happening. Give them a break here; don’t hold this against them.” An incredible statement in that situation.

It’s an attitude we need to express more often with our children.

We love our kids desperately, and we want them to make good decisions. But so often they don’t see the bigger picture. They’re going through life, learning right from wrong, doing a lot of trial-and-error, and making a lot of errors.

We try to be patient with our kids.

Why isn’t he getting it?
Why can’t she move past this?
Why won’t they stop arguing with each other?
How could they make such foolish mistakes?

No, our children are not torturing us—at least not intentionally, we hope. But how often do they get on our nerves? And maybe we feel like we have every right to be frustrated and annoyed by these unruly kids. It’s hard to believe how silly or insensitive or selfish they act sometimes.

You’ve had those thoughts, right? And maybe this perspective can help us: “Father, forgive your children. They don’t really know what they’re doing.”

Doesn’t it make sense to take that approach with our kids—and even pray that for them?

If we can adopt that point of view more and more, realizing that our kids are not going to be perfect and they have a lot of growing up to do (just like we do), it’s going to change our outlook as fathers.

Sometimes we get caught up in day-to-day battles and busyness, and we need a broader viewpoint on our children. It’s like the man who gets angry when someone recklessly cuts in front of him on the highway. What if he learned that the driver who cut him off was hurrying to take his pregnant wife to the hospital? Doesn’t that change everything?

That’s how it is quite often with our kids. We don’t fully realize what our kids are going through, or maybe we’re assuming they have awareness or motives that simply aren’t there. Maybe we need to recognize more often that, “Hey, she’s just a kid,” “He really doesn’t know any better,” or, “She was involved in something, and wasn’t thinking about ______.” Could that give us a needed change of perspective?

Instead of getting frustrated or taking it personally, we can give them more consideration. Maybe a time of angry correction can become a time for teaching. Maybe our fathering could start being characterized more by patience and understanding. Maybe we could become better at giving our kids mercy and expressing forgiveness to them.

Dad, show more grace to your kids. They don’t always realize what they’re doing.

It’s probably a sign that you’re growing as a father, and it will surely help you build stronger connections with your kids.

As Alexander Pope famously wrote, “To err is human, to forgive divine.”

Are you able to forgive your kids easily? If not, what hinders you? Share an insight or a struggle with other dads on our Facebook page here.